Eek...

Ok, all about me, kgo.

The addiction:

My nic is Eek, I'm a WoW addict, and its been 30mins since my last log in. Btw thats World of Warcraft for those nubs who exist in a non-gaming vacuum. I have a level 80 gnome warlock and draenei mage, two other 70+ toons I'm still levelling, and quite a few alts. I'm a profession whore, plus I get bored easily lol. I love my toons and I've made some awesome friends in the game, but with the latest expansion and all, well... I'm just a little off WoW atm. Only logging in to say hi to people and do my rep dailies. Its a break without having an actual break lol. But there you have it... I'm a self-confessed WoW junkie.

The kiddos:

I have four kids (yes this popped into my mind AFTER WoW, my bad). Two kids from my first marriage, a daughter who is 13 going on 25 every day and a son who is 10 going on 5 some days. They're good, stable kids (coincidentally they both play WoW!) and I have a good relationship with my ex husband. That said, his lazy slobby influence on them is starting to really get on my nerve. Pick up your own shit ffs!! Things they used to do when they were little are now apparently really difficult to remember because they don't have to do it "at Dad's house". Drives me batty to constantly say things like... have you made your bed, wheres your lunchbox, is that your wet towel on the floor... arrrgh. /rage

*gets back on track*

I also have two kids from my second marriage, a 2yr old boy and 1 yr old girl. Yes they're very close together in age. And yes they actually ARE driving me loony. Right at this moment in fact, argh. Two toddlers, two sets of tantrums, two willpowers, two sets of everything. They're beautiful and I love them, dont get me wrong. But some days they really are devil incarnate.

Truth is, the kids drive me barmy but I feel blessed. Their unique, individual, sometimes stubborn and sometimes irritating personalities are all their own, and I'm glad to have the chance to watch them develop into the people they have the potential to be. I don't love them as extensions of me because thats not what they are (even though my eldest is soooo like me I can't stand it!), I love and respect them for their individuality.

I feel blessed, I am blessed, and sometimes I just have to stress less about the everyday bullshit and remind myself of this fact ->
Even when they dont all fit in my car at once cos the baby seats are too wide and I have to drive the old shit big car with no air con or CD player... I am blessed.
Even when we end up an hour late for school in the morning cos daughter #1 is all teenage girl moody and having some sort of issue, son #1 somehow can't find a shoe, son #2 needs to wee then poo then wee again (he's toilet training lol), and daughter #2 vomits yoghurt everywhere the second she gets strapped into the car seat... I am blessed.
Even on the nights I get no sleep at all cos the toddlers are team tagging the wake-up-and-cry-about-something-that-I-can't-work-out, and I find myself still awake at 4.30am waiting for them both to be asleep at the same time... I am blessed.
Even when my overly accomplished teenage daughter who plays 3 musical instruments, sings, is an awesome awesome artist, excels academically and is brilliant at every sport she plays suddenly "can't" do a simple task because its too "hard"... you know, like work the can opener... I am blessed.
Even when I'm awakened with an unexpected and painful poke to the eye by the baby of the family... I am blessed.

Well maybe not the last one lol.

The friends:

I have an awesome online community including one of my best buds who listens to my shit, puts up with my moods and occasional nastiness, and somehow has yet to run away and hide (ahh the old block technique, we've all done it!). Unconditional love and acceptance is an awesome thing to have.

I have a collection of WoW friends who also listen to my shit, but have the added advantage of healing me or tanking for me at the same time. And you can't beat that! Go WoW. I've met some really cool wowers, and I consider them my almost-but-not-quite-rl-friends. :)

I have a bunch of distant long-term rl friends who I rely on and dont visit nearly often enough. I said I'd rectify that this year, and I still haven't made enough effort. Sigh. I will, I will!

And I'm fortunate enough to run with the Jo Hos... my cuz Jo (and yes loony runs in the family) and the bestest, nicest, most deserving girl I've ever known, the Ho aka Laura. So we have the two Jo's... my cuz and I... our parents obviously weren't too creative... and even though she's the exact opposite of ho'ness, we have Laura. Its an unfair nickname, but meh, it rhymes and sounds funny. Besides, everyone who knows Laura loves her, so we have to even out the balance somehow!

The husband:

He's not perfect, I'm not perfect (well I am a bit...), our relationship isn't perfect. We've had our ups and downs. Our marriage is good atm, but theres always a but. Even the words I love you come with an unspoken but. But... note the irony lol... but he's a young man with a great heart (at this point its fair to mention that he's 11 years younger than me lol, just turned 24 :P). He's sensitive and has a strong set of values and morals, unlike most men might I add. He has so much potential to achieve so much, he just needs to believe in himself and get motivated. And I'm proud that he's making huge advances with that this year. I want him to be the role model our children need, and I know he can do it. Check out his new weight loss blog - http://fatmanintightywhities.blogspot.com/

The past:

Obviously everything that happens to us over time makes us who we are. Well, doh. I have pretty much no regrets, cos I wouldnt change my life atm even if I could time travel.

Here's a list of life events, the good and the bad, the things that make me who I am (in rough chronological order): second of 4 children, large extended family, awesome awesome grandparents who are fortunately still with us :), physical and verbal abuse in the home, child sexual abuse, lots and lots of sport, school dux cos I'm so brilliant woot! (yes I coughed out loud when I typed that lol - brill-cough-ant), moved out of home at 17, parents got divorced a year later, honours degree in pyschology, fell pregnant, got married (yep thats the order lol), had the most awesome in-laws ever, baby #2, had an awesome job that I still miss, endured a series of miscarriages over a 3 year period, watched my beloved father-in-law die from cancer (much QQ), I cheated, got divorced, fell in love, had my heart broken into a million unfixable pieces, met my husband to be, fell pregnant, got married (am I the only person seeing a pattern here?? ), baby #4, and so on.

Thats pretty much my life in a nutshell. Apart from the fact that I am more fertile than a damn rabbit, I'm a strong, independent, intelligent woman. I am not a victim of anything or anyone, I am simply a survivor of shit. I am woman, hear me roar. I iz l33t! (translation for the nongamers: I am elite)